Away in Idaho

Hi everyone,

I see that there has been lots of discussion since we have been away!  We left for Idaho on the 7th for Doug’s family reunion.  We’ve been having a great time here.  There isn’t a lot of phone reception or internet connection, so that explains the silence.  We’ll be back home soon and then I am off to Michigan, but there I will have an internet connection.

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14 Responses to Away in Idaho

  1. Justin says:

    Ok, we know you say your are our Kevin but how can we be sure of this?  I mean come on now Idaho, having a great time, the two just dont mix.  No phone reception you say. No internet connection you say.  That explains the silence you say.  In this day and age you really expect a super sleuth like cass or me her apprentice to believe this?  Then you say your off to Michigan.  You think Cass is not aware of the huge feline compund up there? Do you really. 
     
    What have you done with our Kevin and Doug? You just as well come clean and tell us or Cass will be forced to unleash her super sleuthing powers on you and and believe me it wont be pretty.
     

  2. Kevin says:

    Justin (and Cass),
    Very perceptive of you to think that I am not the real Kevin.  Right now the two of them are tied up (and they seem to oddly be enjoying it) somewhere in Oregon as we speak. 

  3. Cassie says:

    I am narrowing down the search to Lincoln County, in Oregon. There is a town here called "Yachats".  It is a peaceful looking place on the coast but…is it mere coincidence, I ask myself, that the French for CAT is CHAT???
     
    I think NOT!!!
     
    Stand by on our frequency, Margo—er—I mean JUSTIN—I will communicate as soon as I have confirmation on the presence of Kevin and Doug here

  4. Justin says:

    As our super sleuth Cass disguised as the impecably well dressed Sherlock makes her way up the North West Coast to the peaceful village of Yachats in our search for Kevin and Doug.  Her thoughts are invaded by the the comments of our last contact.  Ok so now we know the one posing as our Kevin was only doppelganger trying to create a red herring to (which reminds me I havent had me kippers yet) throw our super sleuth off the trail by sending her to Idaho.  As her trusty secretary Margo—er–we mean her side kick Justin stands by what diabolical scenes await our super sleuth Cass.  
     
    Will our super sleuth reach the village of Yachat in time to save our Kevin and Doug?  What will she find when she arrives?  Could this be just another red herring created by these diabolical creatures who took them? 
     
    Stay tuned in as the hair raising saga of "The Missing Tripod" continues.  And kiddies dont forget to have your Mom to get you the Super Cass sleuthing decoder ring and map at your local F.W. Woolworth 5 & dime store.  Follow our Super Sleuth as she ventures to the North West to free Kevin and Doug.  Until ________ remember check under the bed and in the closet because, Only the Shadow knows.

  5. Cassie says:

    A cold mean rain began to fall as I cautiously steered my Rolls Royce Silver Ghost down what passed for a main street in Yachats. The clock on the Town Hall was striking midnight and there was no sign of human life anywhere. Off in the distance I could hear a dog howling (or maybe it was a coyote). I pulled into the parking lot of the Ocean Cove Inn on Prospect and Highway 101 and shut the engine off.
    For a while I just sat there, listening to the rain drumming on my car and visualizing again a variety of horrible fates Kevin and Doub might have encountered since the day they had first disappeared. Then I shook my head. This was futile. It wa sup to Justin and I to rescue them and we were just going to DO it, that\’s all, if I had to slaughter every sneaky fur-covered purring pest between here and Saskatchewan.
    I grabbed my purse and my umbrella and slowly opened my door…but just then….

  6. Kevin says:

    Cass and Justin–you\’ll never find them!  Besides, this guy named Kevin keeps harping on and on about all the anti-gay activists out there and all of the court rulings in California and saving the world from all the evil people and all of his friends out there searching for him and Doug, that I have decided I can\’t stand to hear him speak any more!!!  Talk about "running at the mouth…"  I\’ll be dumping them off at their house tomorrow night, along with Zak.  They\’ll have a few rope burns (and again, they seem to enjoy being tied up) but they will be able to get on with their gay lifestyle soon enough…

  7. Justin says:

    We start our next episode of "The Missing Tripod" with the ever loyal Justin trying to contact our Super Sleuth Cass via wireless.
     
    Base to Silver Ghost come in Silver Ghost……….Base to Silver Ghost come in Silver Ghost………..Base to Silver Ghost come in Silver Ghost drats and double drats the wireless seems not be be reaching her.  I simply must get the latest comunique from this dastardly villian whom ever he is to her.  I fear for her safety in that g-d forsaken North West Territory.  We know it is covered in Primeveal Forrests where diabolical schemes are ploted and carried out.  Alas I can only hope and pray she has found refuge somewhere and will be in contact soon so she can follow up on this latest clue. 
     
    So, they are dumping (what a choice of words) Kevin and Doug along with Zak at their house tomorrow night.  Sure this doppelganger says they will be the same.  Who knows what diabolical brain washing they did on these two wonderful defenseless men?    
     
    Base to Silver Ghost come in Silver Ghost……….Base to Silver Ghost come in Silver Ghost………..Base to Silver Ghost come in Silver Ghost drats and double drats. Cass, Cass where are you what is happening anwer me.
     
    Be sure to tune in tomorrow night kiddies.  Turn out the lights and pull the covers up over your heads for our new twist to this story. (noises of thunder in the back ground) when we bring you San Francisco invaded by the (dare we say it? yes we must) Eerie organ music in the background with thunder and rain "The Evil Flying Monkies" or Cass deprogams Kevin and Doug.  Have your code rings and maps ready.
     

  8. Cassie says:

    Just  then—very faintly—with lots of static, Justin\’s wireless comes alive. It is CASS\’S voice…weak…iin pain…but he recognises it. "Justin," she manages to gasp. "Beware! Kevin and Doug AREN\’T Kevin and Doug! They\’re POD People! Justin are you receiv…."
    Then there was a scream and the wireless went dead….

  9. Cassie says:

    "Macavity you &%$*&%!!!" cried Justin, shaking his fist in the air. Swiftly he hopped into his Toyota Prius (he was nothing if not environmentally conscientious) and slammed the pedal to the metal.
    ***********************************************************************************
    45 minutes later it had reached its top speed (93 MPH) and he was on his way to Yachat. "Whatever\’s going on with Kevin and Doug will just have to wait!" he muttered to himself as he thought of their plight. "I need to find Cass first so she can explain just what the heck \’pod people\’ are!"
    ****************************************************************************************************
    Meanwhile, miles away, in a motel in Stockton the Creature that had been posting as "Kevin" opened its eyes. A black cat waled over to him and began to speak. "You have done well," it said. "My plans are proceeding beautifully. It is now 8"00 AM—in 49 minutes that ramshackle old farm house in Yahchat where we left the real Kevin, Doug, Zak, AND that snoopy Cass chained in the root cellar will explode into flames!
     
    "Then I, Zorr, Zak\’s evil twin brother will be free to carry out the rest of the mission Macavity entrusted to me!" (It laughed a long, low, cattish laugh. "Dead man tell no tales, Robot ZF51—and neither do dead WOMEN!" It laughed again and the robot that looked like Kevin laughed too—a hideous metallic cackle.
    Zorr\’s expression sobered. "Yes, well—enough levity," he said. "Go and awaken your companion ZF50—we must proceed to Michigan for the next step in our plan, now that you are both recharged!"
    "Yes, master," said ZF51 and went into the next room.
    ****************************************************************************************************
    MEANWHILE—but that is for next time…nighty-night, kiddies—unpleasant dreams!!!

  10. Justin says:

    Listen Kiddies this is the continuing saga of "The Missing Tripod"  Or are Kevin and Doug Cooked Vegies? The Prius slowed to a stop at the city limits of Yachat.  The streets looked dark yet people were wondering around as if in a trance.  They seemed headed toward a sleazy looking motel at the end of the main street.  Justin peers through the mist to see if he can see more. Then, yes, it is it.  He could see the end of the Silver Ghost sticking out from the side of one of the cabanas with the left turn signal still blinking.   Gripping the wheel of the Prius Justin was racking his brain to remember what Cass had said to do if she ever said Pod People.  Then it came to him, yes, that was it.  He had to make his way to the Ghost and retrieve the huge brass spray can canister from the back.  But, could he do it with all these people wandering around? 
     
    He slowly got out of the Prius and began to walk up the street when he came up on his first Pod person.  Justin maintained a blank stare and the Pod Person just passed him by.  Justin wiped his brow and continued toward the Silver Ghost.  Finally, finally he got to the Ghost and opened the rear door and there he saw it.  The huge brass spray canister.  Stealthly he removed it from the car and began to look around.  Then he saw it.  Only one room that had lights on.  He slowly moved towrad the room and peered through a gap in the curtains.  There he saw Cass lying tied up on the bed with the strangest looking water melon he had ever see beside her.  At the foot of the bed sat a huge Calico Cat that seemed to be waiting for something to happen.  Cass\’s words kept coming into Justins mind.  Yes, thats it he had to pump up the pressure ont he canister.  Slowly, quietly he pumped the pressure up took the nozzel in one hand and crept toward the door of the room.  Quickly he kicked in the door and pointed the nozzel at the cat and sprayed.  A most hellish scream filled the room and then the cat began to wither like a plant with out water.  Justin rushed to Cass\’s side.  Are you alright luv.  Yes, Cass said Im ok.  Did they tie you up then?  Rolling her eyes Cass said of course not I always lay around tied up with a weird vegetable on the bed. "Now Get These Ropes off of me"  we have to hurry. 
     
    As they opened the door they were faced with a mob of glazed eyed pod people. SPRAY THEM  Cass yelled.  Immediately Justin began to spray them.  Those horrible screams, oh those horrible screams as they withered to the ground.  Cass and Justin made a break for the Silver Ghost.  Cass jumped in and put it in reverse then headed it out of town.  Justin was spraying Pod People groups as they passed them.  Then they passed the Prius and Justin said but, Cass we just passed the Prius to which Cass looked at Justin and said Kiss it bye sweetie we aint stoping.  There is something more important we must do.  As they drove off into the darkness Cass began to explain the Pod People and what she feared happened to Kevin, Doug and Zak.  She kept repeating over and over "hopefully we aren\’t to late".  It can be reversed you know.
     
    SUDDENLY!!!!!!! OH MY GOD Justin screamed  what was that.  Cass swerved the Silver Ghost to avoid the…………………… Join us for our next breath taking Episoed of  "The Missing Tripod"  Sleep Tight and dont let the bed bugs bite.  EVIL LAUGH echos.  (Justin where the hell do all these voices and those hideous laughs come from shakes head)    

  11. Cassie says:

    I swerved the Silver Ghost to avoid the gigantic Salad Fork in the road (gotta protect the tires ya know) and accidentally ran over a Christian Fundamentalist who had been trudging along carrying a "BAN S M S" sign over his shoulder, "Sorry!" I shrieked out the window as we sped on. "MY fault! Send me any medical bills!" I was going to say more but my that time the slightly dented religious conservative in the road was out of sight behind us.
    "How will he know where to send the bills?" Kevin asked.
    "Simple," I said. "He can look it up in the Bible can\’t he?"
    "But your address isn\’t in the Bible," Justin objected.
    "According to them EVERYTHING you\’ll ever need to know is in that book," I snarled. "So obviously, should he need to know my address it must be in there."
     
    Just then there was a HUGE flash of lightning, a loud menacing clap of thunder, and the rain began coming down like we were driving under Niagara Falls. I turned on the windshield wipers which did one sweep and then traced the words "Are you kidding?"  and shut themselves off again.
    I kept on driving. "How can you see?" asked Doug.
    "I can\’t," I admitted, "I\’m just optimistic."
    ************************************************************************************************
    MEANwhile, in Michigan, Zorr (Zak\’s evil twin brother and right paw cat to Macavity) had arrived at the Old Marsden place in Grand Rapids,  along with his two robots: ZF-51 the "Kevinbot" and ZF50 the "Dougbot".
    "Ah," said Zorr, eyeing the decaying domicile. "This is the perfect spot! NO one will stumble across us here!"
    (In that, he was probably right. The Marsden Place (of the sort known as a "fixer-upper" in Real Estate jargon) had been empty for some 35 years. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly—
    (sorry, wrong house).
    It had a basement, first floor where the living room, kitchen, study, and a room of unspecified purpose that would (in less enlightened times) have probably been designated "the sewing room" where the lady of the house could pass the happy hours mending the clothes of her husband, her offspring, and if she had any free time—herself. Upstairs were the bedrooms (four of these) three and a half bathrooms, and a "game room" that still contained an ancient pool table. Above that was the Attic.
    As additional amenities the Marsden House was home to some particularly anti-social ghosts.
     
    One story has it that a Mr. Belasco (then owner of the house) came home early one morning to find the large upstairs closet doors wide open, the light on, and the door to the attic, which was located in this closet, was open as well. The contents of the closet and storage boxes in the attic had been thrown all over the place. This was the scene for 5 mornings in a row, despite the lock Mr. B put on the closet. An expensive, diamond inlaid watch, which didn\’t belong to them, was found on top of a big pile of messed up clothes in the attic.
     
    Another story (this time involving his wife, Abigail) tells how A very pale woman, with watery eyes, dressed in a long silk dress, a brimmed straw hat, and white gloves came to the  door, asking to come in to see the house as she had once lived there. After going as far as the living room, she faintly asked Mrs. Belasco if she was happy in the house. After Abigil told her yes, the lady smiled faintly, and left the house, floating down the walkway, which gave our Abigail a big chill, for she now realized that this lady was, in fact, a GHOST!!!
     
    "Yes," purred Zor. "This house is PURRFECT for our headquarters! From here we can bring Macavity\’s plan to fruition!"
    "What is the plan, master?" asked the Kevinbot.
     
    (Okay, reader, we know no freakin\’ robot would ask any such question but I wanted to explain Macavity\’s plan here and this was the most convenient way to introduce it—if you think you can do better you are welcome to join Justin and me in writing this story. Be warned, though, you\’ll have to do it for love. Not ONLY have Kevin and Doug not offered to PAY us for keeping the live space going while they were incommunicado but they haven\’t even THANKED us!!!)
    Now…where was I?Oh, yeah.
    "What is the plan, Master?" asked the Kevinbot.
    "Yeah, what?" asked the Dougbot.
    "We are going to kidnap Daniel Mulhern!"
    "Who?" said the Kevinbot.
    "And wouldn\’t it be \’catnap\’?" asked the Dougbot "I mean, a \’kid\’ is either a young goat or else slang for a human child ad you are neither whereas…"
    "Zip it," Zorr growled. "I told Macavity not to buy their CPUs from \’Robots R Us!\’  Okay, listen, stupids. Dan Mulhern is the First Gentleman of Michigan."
    "First what?"
    "Gentleman…gentleman…you know what a gentleman is—you\’ve got the entire OED in your memory!"
    "Yes, master," the Doubot affirmed. "The term gentleman (from Latin gentilis, belonging to a race or "gens", and "man", cognate with the French word gentilhomme and the Italian gentil uomo or gentiluomo), in its original and strict signification, denoted a man of good family, analogous to the Latin generosus (its invariable translation in English-Latin documents). In this sense the word equates with the French gentilhomme (nobleman), which latter term was in Great Britain long confined to the peerage. The term "gentry" (from the Old French genterise for gentelise) has much of the social class significance of the French noblesse or of the German Adel, but without the strict technical requirements of those traditions (such as quarters of nobility). This was what the rebels under John Ball in the 14th century meant when they repeated:
    When Adam delved and Eve span,Who was then the Gentleman?\’
     
    "In modern usage…."
     
    "ZIP it!" Zorr grated. "Dan Mulhern is the \’spouse\’ of Jennifer Granholm, Governor of Michigan. And she will pay through the NOSE to get him back…ah…undamaged. But! Macavity is not just after money?"
    As far as it as possible fo two robots to look stunned…the robots looked stunned. "He ISN\’T?" they chorused.
    "No! You see, we are going to plant clues suggesting that the Gay Community is behind this—thus insuring that whenever an issue involving \’gay rights\’ comes up before the State Legislature it\’ll be dismissed with a supercilious smile!"
    "But that\’s so FIENDISH, master!" said the bots (still in unison).
    "Isn\’t it," said Zorr. "Isn\’t it just…." and he began to laugh and his bots joined in–a most hideous cacophany!
    *****************************************************************************************
    But MEANwhile—
     

  12. Cassie says:

    "So where do you think Zorr and his Positronic Minions have gone?" asked Justin.
    "I don\’t know," said Doug. "I was trying to figure out what the sign that guy Cass ran over was carrying meant."
    "Ban S M S?" said Justin. "I don\’t know."
    "It mean Ban Same Sex Marriage," I said.
    "Wouldn\’t that be S S M?" asked Kevin.
    "It would if one of the authors of this story wasn\’t lysdexic," I replied.
    **************************************************
    BUT JUST THEN—

  13. Kevin says:

    I\’m glad Doug caught that (SSM and not SMS), since I didn\’t catch it!  🙂

  14. Justin says:

    The  Silver Ghost came to a stop at a rest area.  Justin said he could fix a little breakfast since he got some supplies and stored them in the boot of the Silver Ghost.  Doug and Kevin got out and began to walk around as Justin got the camp stove and cookwear out of the boot.  Cass curled up on the back seat of the Silver Ghost pulled her newly made white with black spots fur to try and get a little rest before breakfast was ready.
     
    Hey Cass Justin yelled, you really need to come try this.  Doug and Keven were scarfing down the food as if they hadn\’t eaten in a week.  Try what Cass mumbled?  You know that funny looking melon that was by you on the bed. Its pretty tasty if you fry in in bacon grease.  Cass\’s eyes popped open throwing off her cover she sprang out of the Silver Ghost screaming Oh–My– G-d Justin you didn\’t…………………..
     
    Stay tuned kiddies when Cass reveals well that is another story.  Pull the covers up close and remember Monsters under the bed, Monsters in the closet  Monsters everywhere. (evil laff) HAHAHAHAHA 

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