I’ve been having a conversation with a woman named Carlotta for about a month now. I met her at Talkwisdom. She has a blog called Christocentric. She is totally against gay marriage. Totally, even though she is a divorced woman (and by that I mean that Christ only allowed divorce for one reason and God itself said that it hated divorce). Today I mentioned a lesbian couple who were vacationing in Florida with their children. They were together for 18 years. One of the women collapsed and the parents of that woman would not allow either her partner or her own children to see their mother. The hospital refused to recognize her partner (you can read about it here). A priest allowed a 5 minute visit, but that was it. And that woman died.
I mentioned this story to Carlotta. Her response?
"About the couple above described in your example. I just don’t have the sympathy for people in that situation because they weren’t in a legal marriage to begin with. Although I wouldn’t have been so cruel and to at least let the partner visit her lover in the hospital. But there are some penalties people have to go through if they don’t have a legal marriage."
No sympathy for two people who had been together for 18 years and then denied visitation rights because of some religious belief? Anyway, I wrote back to Carlotta and told her that her very words were the reason why I fight for gays and lesbians to be able to marry–these very penalties that these poor women had to go through should not be there. What a horrible penalty these women had to go through. I can’t imagine the absolute agony of not being able to see Doug who might be on the verge of death. I’m afraid that that is where reason is left behind and emotion takes over–nothing on this earth or heaven and hell for that matter could keep me from seeing Doug. They would have to shoot and kill me to stop me from seeing him. I mean that totally and absolutely. I thought I would have to go through a fight when Doug was taken to the hospital after his bike accident. I went up to the emergency room window and the woman asked me who I was. I told her that I was his partner and there was no blink of the eye or anything. She told me that they just brought him in from the ambulance and I could see him as soon as he was brought in. And that is exactly what happened. But I was ready for a fight if they weren’t going to let me in. And there was a movie I saw a number of years ago that showed two elderly women who were lesbians being split apart in nursing homes because they weren’t considered to be a couple. I would rather die than allow that to happen to me and Doug.
I suppose I will have to deal with the Florida mentality when I go to Michigan to see my family. There isn’t even domestic partnership protections in that state. If something happens to me, my marriage in California won’t be recognized. That is why we need a fundamental change at the federal level. It will happen eventually, but not soon enough to prevent tragedies from occurring like they did in Florida.