As I said, this whole Prop. 8 has really energized me, as well as Doug. We’ve decided to take the plunge and become parents. We’ve both wanted kids for a long time. We’ve waited because we wanted to make sure we were in a good situation to do it. Now that we bought our house, we’re ready. I just called an adoption agency and we are going to a 2 hour orientation meeting Tuesday in San Francisco. It is going to be a semi-long process. We will have multiple meetings and home visits and we need to take parenting courses and lifesaving courses (I already have my life-saving certification from Australia) and whatever else we need to do.
Then a child (maybe more?) is chosen, we become foster parents and then the adoption process officially begins. We’re looking at at least a 4-9 month process before we can foster. That’s o.k. I figure we’ve been together nearly 17 years (in February) and married for just over 3 months, so we can wait a bit longer.
Wish us luck!
Kevin's Space 
Kevin, Doug, I want to commend you on your decision to adopt and give a child the one thing most important and that is a home with loving parents. I am sure you are both aware that besides your decision to get married this is probably the most important decision you will make in your life times. I hope you dont mind a little advice from an old coot who raised two sons and has never regreted the decision to adopt. Now dont take what I say as being discouragement becaused it isnt.
I always tell people that raising kids is like like raising "puppies" they are soooo cute when they are little but, then they grow up 🙂
And believe me boys, unlike checking the paw size on a puppy to see how big it will get. Well, it just dont work with these little critters. Their paw size will never be a indication of just how much room they will take up in the house. Which you should just as well know will be all of it. Like puppies they love to investigate and get into every thing. Believe me when I say, if you have something you dont want them to see or mess with they have this uncanny radar that will help them find it and then they have this inate curiosity that tells them to dismantel it to see whats inside. Nothing is immune to their little lets deconstruct this thing to see what it is mentality.:)
Under the bed, over the bed, in the chest of drawers (which seems to be one of their favorite subjects for exploration) in the closet (here you will find just how quickly these little explorers can figure out how to get to that top shelf) after all that is where the really good treasures seem to be hiding :). These little creatures will be into every thing and on every thing and that little two letter word "NO" makes no logical sense to them.
Now to the really serious stuff. If you adopt a baby which I hope you do, please understand that you have just given up your lives (which you will not regret believe me) for this little person. There will be times when you are just so tired from work all you want to do is just sit. Forget it cause that is not in their plans. A serious word of advice here. No matter how tired you are get down on the floor and into that little persons world and you will be suprised how much energy you recoup. Play time is just as important to you as it is to them. After all you\’ve been gone all day and nothing can melt your heart as fast when you see them and they run to you to be held and hugged.
Yes, you will be faced with some toughies, changing diapers, holding these slippery little critters in the tub at bath time. Then there will be the nights you walk the floor holding them when they are sick. Sitting by the bed at night stroking a little fevered brow and just being amazed that this belongs to and depends on both of you for "Love, Comfort and Guidance" and you will always wonder if your giving enough of any of it.
Kevin, Doug, just like little puppies these little creatures understand the differences in tone of voice. They understand the tone of love, concern and anger. There will be times you are tested to your limits but, I hope you will be able to deal with them without raising your voice in anger. Never use curse words when talking to them. Take them up and express your concern to them about what they did and why they shouldn\’t do it and believe me they will soon catch on to the commands (sit, heel, stay) :). And one final thing never raise your hand in anger to punish them. I dont care what people say spanking accomplishes nothing but physical harm. Talk to them not as adults but on their level with words of love and concern. You will find this goes a lot further than any spanking ever will. Yes, can punish by taking away priveleges (they will get the message) but, never physical punishment.
Well, sorry about all the rambeling on but after raising two of the best kids in the world (ok so Im predijuced so what) I\’m just happy you have made this decision and wanted to relate a little to you what to expect. You know Im just a email away if you need support. But, raising kids is a individual exprience that you will learn as you go. Yep, its on the job training 24-7.
Good luck Guys my prayers will be with you.
BTW guys just a quick side note. You should really adopt a Golden Retriever Puppy for starters believe me they are as close to a kid as you can get. 🙂 Toodles
First, I want to extend my warmest congratulations to you both! This is so exciting and you both seem like amazing and loving men with a lot to offer a child. How wonderful!!!! Madelene and myself are so happy to hear this news! 🙂 We pray for you both that everything works out smoothly as possible.On another note, I want to disagree with Justin, speaking from someone who has never had children, however has practically raised her nephew and nieces… They are not comparable to puppies. There\’s A LOT of work associated with it and it only gets easier when they grow up, because they talk, walk and understand you as little cute human beings. As educated as you are, Kevin…I\’m so certain that you\’ll be a great parent, understanding the responsibility that lies in your hands. I have no doubt. They\’re not puppies…they\’re your extension of your love whether or not blood-related. Congrats and God bless! 🙂 So happy for you!
First, I want to extend my warmest congratulations to you both! This
is so exciting and you both seem like amazing and loving men with a lot
to offer a child. How wonderful!!!! Madelene and myself are so happy
to hear this news! 🙂 We pray for you both that everything works out
smoothly as possible.
On another note, I want to disagree with Justin, speaking from someone
who has never had children, however has practically raised her nephew
and nieces… They are not comparable to puppies. There\’s A LOT of
work associated with it and it only gets easier when they grow up,
because they talk, walk and understand you as little cute human
beings.
As educated as you are, Kevin…I\’m so certain that you\’ll be a great
parent, understanding the responsibility that lies in your hands.
I have no doubt.
They\’re not puppies…they\’re your extension of your love whether or not blood-related.
Congrats and God bless! 🙂 So happy for you!
Reconing as how Deb does not understand ranching satirical humor
Congratulations! I am so excited for you both! Wish I could have talked to you when you called. I\’ll call you in a little while. Have some running to do.
Might I add a little bit about raising children….I don\’t think it becomes easier as they get older just different. More complicated issues arise. Can\’t wait to talk to you.
Becomes easier as they get OLDER, Laura? Have you ever actually MET any TEENAGERS??? 🙂
No, but seriously, I think this is TERRIFIC!!!
Hi everyone!
Thanks for all the loving comments! We are both excited and nervous. Our first meeting with the adoption agency will be on Tuesday. We are currently in Seattle having a great time. We spent most of the day with Doug\’s brother Paul, his wife Monica and their 10 month old daughter Kayla.
We\’ll be heading home tomorrow.
I\’m so happy for you both. I\’ve never taken the step to parent, but I think you guys will be great!